A HUGE, MASSIVE life lesson I have learned in the last few years is this.
DO NOT EXPECT OTHERS TO HAVE THE SAME CONSIDERATIONS AS YOU.
BlogPosting schema markup is automatically added to this page to help Google display it as a This may sound obvious I know.. But the way I always saw things was to treat people how I would like to be treated, I say this to my kids now. I also assumed people would have the same considerations I have as to me it seemed obvious that the way I would do things everyone would, wouldn't they? Eeeeeeer the answer is a confirmed 'NO'.
I have learned that I think waaay too much about how I can help others, to keep peace between others relationships, to remember all things important to others, checking in with others and that sort of thing.
Now I am not saying I do not still do this as I do still some of this, I still make the effort to remember people's important days or appointments and I still do check ins. Something I will no longer do is try and keep the peace between fueding people, that has stopped. Now I only do the other things with the people in my life who come under the quality list and not quantity...
I always liked to make little efforts for people and really try and think of gifts that would really make them see how important they are to me, I would always wish them good luck, hope you have a great time, how did you get on, are you feeling better now, I will be thinking of you etc... Then when my life changed forever and got suddenly tougher as the years got on it dawned on me whilst I sat crying day after day, feeling complete despair, yes moments of suicidal thoughts, unable to see any future and complete misery that no one was checking in, asking was I ok, how did my many appointments go, stop asking me to go out etc...
WOW - well that didn't help my mood at all and people tell me that I disconnected them from my facebook back then and totally blocked people out. Funny thing is I do not remember doing this but when I checked my facebook I had in fact done this. I have no memory whatsoever of this!!
When you feel destroyed doing basically anything and you make lots of effort for people and then you never get the same back you begin to see that in fact what I assumed was obvious behaviour infact is not and I AM THE ODD ONE. Well this was a bit of a shock and it baffles me to this day, as most of this stuff is not huge at all, it is simple messages, checking in, paying attention to what is happening in THEIR lives.... I know my life is not very exciting like but a bit of the same in return would be gratefully appreciated.
Now although I have now learned this fact I find it hard not to want to do the same things but it always ends in me feeling low and disappointed in people, so I need to look after my feelings too as you cannot assume, expect or rely on others to do the same.. SO FIRST LOOK AFTER YOU and then see what you have left for others.
When it happens now with some people in my life it mostly doesn't get to me like it used too, just every so often when I am feeling blue anyway it can still pull me down but it is still a work in progress after all.
I have seen it happen were people don't show people how they feel or do not appreciate someone enough and then when they are on their death bed it is like 'oh, you are great, I realise I could have done this or that, I should have told you I love you more etc... etc....
Promise people the world when they are at the end of their life, why do people do this?
Your life is happening now, right now. Show and tell the people in your life now, we never know when our last chance will come. We are not here for very long really so let us spend it well and as happy as possible. Appreciate those close to you, simple things can mean such a lot to others. A little note, a letter, a text whatever you want. A gesture does not have to be grand and expensive, it really is the simple things that mean the most.
A little feel good, spread ther good, encourage the good task:
Who in your life right now could do with a little pick me up?
Who in your life right now deserves a little thanks?
Now - get a pen and paper and write them a little letter - Just a page telling them why you are thankful etc... I know I find I can sometimes say it better in a note than I can with my mouth.
After you have done it and given it to them I AM CERTAIN it will make both people feel really good.
Consideration is a two way street.
Gentle hugs,
Tracey x