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Took on too much again....

Just shy of a year ago I started this journey to get more awareness out there for mental health, invisble illnesses and ways to become more eco concious. I created this website, instagram, twitter, facebook whilst at the same time doing an instagram and etsy shop for my sewing therapy makes.

I felt good, things began to flow nicely and I felt I was pacing myself quite well between these two projects and being a good Mum to my two children. My mind was happy, I was making plans for the future and how I could get this all out there and make a success of it. So July came around quick and the children broke up for their school summer holidays, I knew that over the six weeks off all this would take a back burner but I had no idea just how run down I was getting to the run up to them being off.

During this time we have noticed our son seems to be getting some hormones flowing and I will be honest and say I have found this hard going and also think I could have been handling it better. I am now more concious of his moods and feelings now I see what is happening so I am really trying to be more of a support to him and what he is going through. I was not expecting this yet and this meant I was so not prepared for it. Such a tough time in a childs life and I want to make this as plain sailing as I can. Any advice welcome!!!

Our daughter is four and she is having some difficulties herself. Since starting reception she is coming on leaps and bounds but I do notice her struggling. Thankfully after over a year of waiting she now has a speech and language therapist and she has met him a few times but she will need to be around him quite a bit before he can really start getting anywhere with her. We have been told she may be on the Autism Spectrum and they will assess her as and when. The therapist thinks currently it is a confidence and emotional issue she has, that we should avoid asking her many questions, pushing her too much that sort of thing. I worry about her all the time and I know I am not pushing her enough in some ways as I fear that I could set her back when she is doing well. Change is difficult for her and I dread and put things off all the time, I am not going to lie. My to do list includes getting shut of her dummy and fully getting her out of pull ups.... she can really put up a fight and with my health problems most of the time I just can't do it and this makes me feel like I am failing her. I have constant good intentions but most of the time I just cannot get it done, it is hard and when she puts up a fight I cannot bear the distress she gets herself in.

On top of this we began the process of selling our house as we needed a house that was more suitable. WOW was not expecting it to be so stressful, one house we backed out of due to dodgy structure and now we are attempting house number two. So far things are going well and I really hope it is it this time. Just hope the people buying ours are not going to be too fed up they will not be in here for January now. Out of our control but I always stress and worry that things will go wrong, I really need to be calmer and think more positively. Easier said than done when everything feels like it is buiding up and wiping me out.

It was a long, hard, exhausting, symptom flaring summer holidays. As the weeks went by so did my energy, tolerance and ability to cope. I have only in the last couple of weeks got back into doing updates and being pro active on my instas, website etc...... And as we know in just over a week the children will be off for the festive period. So I will have to see how this will manifest itself this time around, my fiance has some decent time off work so it should be a bit easier in that respect. I MUST MUST MUST take things easier this Christmas and listen to my body and mind more. No point enjoying a few days to end up destroyed for months.

I think once we get the move out of the way we can really settle down and begin to make good progress with all our mental and physical health.

One day I will master this and keep an even balance but until then I will keep on trying.

Love and respect to you all.

Tracey x


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