Do you struggle to say 'NO'?


What is it that stops us saying 'NO'? Is it because we are people pleasing? Do we do it because we feel bad? Why do we say we 'yes' when we are just not up to it? Do you say 'yes' then come the day you make up an excuse (by text)? Do you go along with what the others around you want to do? Do you find it difficult to not have the viewpoint everyone else does? Does saying 'no' make you feel awkward? This is just a handlful of situations we get in and a good majority of us find it impossible to say 'no' or disagree with the crowd. I have literally witnessed someone talking about a subject matter that they clearly felt strong about, when the others in the room gave explanations as to why they do not feel the same the person literally switched their opinions to agree with the other people. The madest part was they were then trying to make it seem like this is how they have always felt about that subject matter!! Using that as an example, there has to be something deep seated that stops that person being able to stick by what they think and feel, strongly enough to back it up regardless of who agrees or disagrees with them. I find this fascinating. I will be the first to admit I am a yes person over minor stuff, like if I am around someone's house and there is a bit of a party going on and I am asked what music I would like for example, I will say 'whatever, I don't mind'. I really don't actually mind as I am there for the people not the music they play but obviously I have music I prefer but I would not voice what that is... Same with going out to restaurants, pubs etc.. I do not go out very much and nearly everyone else I know go out a lot, they know more places etc.. so I am just happy to go anywhere really, but again if I had of thought of somewhere I would not say as I am way happier to let someone else make that decision. So I know my will is not too strong to blantantly disagree with others. Now I do hate conflict, and I have and do avoid it wherever possible. Even if I am out and see strangers getting fiesty my anxiety goes very high and I just want me and whoever I am with to get away to safety. I guess it makes me panic, so I assume in the minor things I am always on the fence for must have something to do with this. Another interesting thing is I HATE being the centre of things, school plays I hated being in them, presentations at university (WOW, I was bad) and I almost didn't do the course because of the two presentations I had to do. Silly I know. However this is all linked together and no doubt a result of something that has probably occured at some point in my life. Now I have children I find it easier to disagree with people, mum protection mode kicks in at times, so that has taught me to have to deal with some confrontations over the last nine years. Then there is my AGE, I definitely think we get wiser as we get older and confidence builds allowing us to not fear speaking out. I will still however only do this if the situation truly needs it, I do not sweat the small stuff anymore as it is not worth the destruction to my well being. You see that it is PERFECTLY OK TO SAY NO, nothing bad happens if you do, people do not stop being your friend, the world does not end, no traumas happen and I think once we do it and see that nothing too bad resulted from it we find it easier and easier to do over time. Practice makes things easier the more you do it and this is the case for pretty much everything. Give it a try and see what happens. Let me know what happens and how you felt, I think you will prob feel pretty good once you have done it. Enjoy taking back control of what you do and do not want to do or say. Liberating x